Shadow Spirit

I have had such a quiet week. Not quiet as in nothing to do, but quiet as in silent. The silence has been an overwhelming experience this week, and I've used this time as an opportunity for quiet reflection.

You see, I was accused of being mean (well, the words were "ignorant," "intolerant," and "hateful"). It utterly shocked me, since my words that evoked such an insult were completely misinterpreted - to such an extent that I have to wonder whether this person is projecting his own feelings of guilt on me. I have never, in my life, been called those words before, and they are three of the very things that I've spent much of my life fighting against. Dumbfounding, it was.

I don't take criticism well.

It kind of left me in a funk. But, criticism, I believe gives one an opportunity for self reflection. Floating around, in this funk, I poured myself into my work and was reassured, eventually, that I am not those things. Rather, the source for my original comment (that was so heavily criticized), is the true source of ignorance, intolerance, and hate, and those things go against everything I believe in - religiously, politically, and socially. I believe everyone should be treated equally (regardless of race, religion, national origin, disability status, sexual orientation, and gender), all voices should be heard (because only through the free exchange of ideas can bad ideas be replaced with better ones), and ad hominem attacks usually occur when the other person is out of valid arguments.

Style Notes:
Place - Ghostly Forest
Dress - from the Gnubie Store - Ghost! Dirty White Dress (by Triangle)
Hair - Curious Kitties - Nyanotech 09-1A Hair - Niyab
Skin - Forsaken - basic goth female skin

Thanks Ivalde and Magika

This morning, I received a lovely dress from Neferia Abel of Ivalde and L'Abel. When I tried it on, I felt so glamorous that I thought I should be in Hollywood.

I love, I mean absolutely love, retro-style.

And yesterday, I received a notice that Magika is having a hunt - look for five scissors hidden throughout the store. One of the scissors has this beautiful red pulled back style. I thought it went perfectly with my new dress.



Style Notes:
Dress - Ivalde - Gunda leo pink dress (limited edition blogger appreciation gift)
Boots - Mstyle - Black helios High boots
Hair - Magika - echo-red E (Running with scissors hunt)
Skin - Frick - Retro Pinup - Peach Betty

The Inner Censor

Freud called it the superego, Reckless called it inner containment, and Hirschi calls it self-control. Homer Simpson has two devils on his shoulders. Whatever it is, I have a strong inner censor. Much of my thought process goes into weighing exactly what I'm going to say and considering the potential repercussions. That's why I tend to be rather quiet and very reserved. This doesn't make it easy sometimes in Second Life. I'm not very outgoing, and I tend to keep to myself. That, of course, doesn't mean I have no need for or interest in friends. I love meeting people. But, often, I find myself alone, wandering around, listless, and solitary.

One place that is wonderful for solitary thought and contemplation is Temple ex Obscurium. The dark, damp caves are perfect for thinking about the day's trials, and they somehow remind one that most of what we fret about isn't really all that important in the scheme of things. This is probably why I don't talk about my troubles all that much. The only time someone tried to read my palm, he said, "Wow, you really keep things to yourself, don't you?"

What do I have to complain about anyway?

Maybe this is why I'm only kinda goth. Almost goth. Sorta goth. My life just isn't that bad. Is having a troubled past, or horrible parents, or some other trauma a prerequisite? I just like those old Vincent Price movies, and The Mission, and the color black. But in most things, I see the light, even in the darkest of hours (like in Quaddryl).

But, there is one thing that is, and has always been, missing from my life. It is the one thing that breaks my heart. It is my one pain. I've never found "true love." Is it because I'm so strange? A strange, quiet, reserved person. I suppose it's not the right combination to grab the attention of appropriate suitors.

So, alas, I walk through life alone. It seems to be my destiny.

And I think I'm OK with that. I have my doggies, after all. They keep me company, and comfort me when I'm down. They don't judge, and they're always happy to see me - no matter what.

In the meantime, perhaps I should just lie in wait and be ready to pounce. There must be a nice man out there somewhere who is looking for a kinda goth girl like me.

Style Notes:

Pics 1 & 2:
Outfit - Rfyre Unorthodox (Lucky Chair)
Hair - unknown - sorry
Skin - Frick - Retro Betty - Peach Betty

Pics 3-6:
Outfit - Papillon - Lacey (MM)