How to Not Get Picked Up in Second Life

Day after day, I hear all these tales of sordid and prurient adventures in Second Life. People are meeting up, hooking up, marrying, and even having babies in this virtual world. If you ever wish to avoid this in its entirety, I have some advice for you. We create our own world in SL, so I thought I should probably share what I know about not meeting people of appropriate sex, for those who wish to be left alone.

So, without further ado, here are my tips on how to not get picked up in Second Life:

1. Be Shy. Painfully shy. If someone IMs you, run away, teleport out, or just ignore it. Never participate in open chat if there are members of the appropriate sex around who might take notice of you.
   
   
2. Cover up. Do not (should I repeat that) wear revealing clothing of any kind. No cleavage, no uncovered bottoms, no smexy chest hair. Wearing suggestive clothing invites, well, suggestions.
   
   
3. Limit Contact. Go only to places where the likelihood of meeting someone is the lowest. For example, if you're a straight women, only go to stores that sell women's clothes. Avoid at all costs the following: Large retailers that sell clothing for both men and women, nightclubs, and the entire Zindra region. Nightclubs and Zindra can be very dangerous places if you're trying to not get picked up. Tourist sims are probably bad, too. Try to visit them when no one else is there. You can watch the map for those opportunities. Fairs, hunts, and midnight mania hopping are all off limits.
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Isolate Yourself. You can keep to yourself in SL very effectively. Close your land to the public and stay there. Spend your time building or creating. Stay out of any social groups. Do everything you can to not make friends - they might know someone - and that could be bad. In fact, it's probably best just to hang around with ghosts and/or dead people.
   
   
5. Do Not Roleplay. I think it must be impossible to avoid members of the appropriate sex in many if not most of the roleplay scenarios in SL - especially Gorean roleplay.
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. Be Strange. If you do have to venture into an area where you may run into others, be strange or scary. This isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't be too strange or scary or you might draw unwanted attention. You have to be just strange enough to deter any communication. It's a tough balancing act, but with practice, you'll find the right look.

I'm sure I will think of more techniques as time passes, but this should do for now - as a start.

Style Notes:
Photos 1 & 2
Skin - Dulce Secrets - Tacy Vodka Skin
Dress - Scruffy Gora - Lolita Rave
Boots - Animas Designs - AD Biker Boots
Hair - Schadenfreude - Black Witch Cinder
Eyes - Mystical Eyes - Oceanic and Peacock Green

Photo 3
Skin - Frick - Fisticuffs Noir - Wearable Demo
Dress - SK Designs - Pain

Poses are part of my AO from red Queen - ETrangE
Location: Ghostly Forest

Rose Red

I just wanted to share this beautiful Skybox that I received via Midnight Mania this morning from *Red*. The builder, Red Hykova does lovely work. Her builds are amazing, and this little skybox is just one example. I would highly recommend visiting her store and looking around, and you may just get lucky enough to win one of her works of art on the MM board!

The skybox features a living area, bed, fireplace, and pose/dressing area. The stunning fireplace and sofas have cuddle poses for a couple to share. There is a wrap around balcony, windows all around, and many other fine details.

Maybe I can find a book on architecture here on the bookshelf:

Or, I can practice my drama scene near the warm glow of the fireplace. "I'm ready for my closeup now.

By far, the best thing about Red's builds are her textures. The creative use of color, texture, and style make these homes something very special. Thank you, Red.

Credits:
Skybox: Red - Luxury Wood Skyhome - currently on the MM Board
Dress: Another World - Fall Fun Hunt Gift #52
Skin: LF Chai Skins - Sugar - Zorena
Hair: Deadkitties - Witchy Naturals

Shadow Spirit

I have had such a quiet week. Not quiet as in nothing to do, but quiet as in silent. The silence has been an overwhelming experience this week, and I've used this time as an opportunity for quiet reflection.

You see, I was accused of being mean (well, the words were "ignorant," "intolerant," and "hateful"). It utterly shocked me, since my words that evoked such an insult were completely misinterpreted - to such an extent that I have to wonder whether this person is projecting his own feelings of guilt on me. I have never, in my life, been called those words before, and they are three of the very things that I've spent much of my life fighting against. Dumbfounding, it was.

I don't take criticism well.

It kind of left me in a funk. But, criticism, I believe gives one an opportunity for self reflection. Floating around, in this funk, I poured myself into my work and was reassured, eventually, that I am not those things. Rather, the source for my original comment (that was so heavily criticized), is the true source of ignorance, intolerance, and hate, and those things go against everything I believe in - religiously, politically, and socially. I believe everyone should be treated equally (regardless of race, religion, national origin, disability status, sexual orientation, and gender), all voices should be heard (because only through the free exchange of ideas can bad ideas be replaced with better ones), and ad hominem attacks usually occur when the other person is out of valid arguments.

Style Notes:
Place - Ghostly Forest
Dress - from the Gnubie Store - Ghost! Dirty White Dress (by Triangle)
Hair - Curious Kitties - Nyanotech 09-1A Hair - Niyab
Skin - Forsaken - basic goth female skin

Thanks Ivalde and Magika

This morning, I received a lovely dress from Neferia Abel of Ivalde and L'Abel. When I tried it on, I felt so glamorous that I thought I should be in Hollywood.

I love, I mean absolutely love, retro-style.

And yesterday, I received a notice that Magika is having a hunt - look for five scissors hidden throughout the store. One of the scissors has this beautiful red pulled back style. I thought it went perfectly with my new dress.

XOXOXOX

Isabeal

Style Notes:
Dress - Ivalde - Gunda leo pink dress (limited edition blogger appreciation gift)
Boots - Mstyle - Black helios High boots
Hair - Magika - echo-red E (Running with scissors hunt)
Skin - Frick - Retro Pinup - Peach Betty

The Inner Censor

Freud called it the superego, Reckless called it inner containment, and Hirschi calls it self-control. Homer Simpson has two devils on his shoulders. Whatever it is, I have a strong inner censor. Much of my thought process goes into weighing exactly what I'm going to say and considering the potential repercussions. That's why I tend to be rather quiet and very reserved. This doesn't make it easy sometimes in Second Life. I'm not very outgoing, and I tend to keep to myself. That, of course, doesn't mean I have no need for or interest in friends. I love meeting people. But, often, I find myself alone, wandering around, listless, and solitary.

One place that is wonderful for solitary thought and contemplation is Temple ex Obscurium. The dark, damp caves are perfect for thinking about the day's trials, and they somehow remind one that most of what we fret about isn't really all that important in the scheme of things. This is probably why I don't talk about my troubles all that much. The only time someone tried to read my palm, he said, "Wow, you really keep things to yourself, don't you?"

What do I have to complain about anyway?

Maybe this is why I'm only kinda goth. Almost goth. Sorta goth. My life just isn't that bad. Is having a troubled past, or horrible parents, or some other trauma a prerequisite? I just like those old Vincent Price movies, and The Mission, and the color black. But in most things, I see the light, even in the darkest of hours (like in Quaddryl).

But, there is one thing that is, and has always been, missing from my life. It is the one thing that breaks my heart. It is my one pain. I've never found "true love." Is it because I'm so strange? A strange, quiet, reserved person. I suppose it's not the right combination to grab the attention of appropriate suitors.

So, alas, I walk through life alone. It seems to be my destiny.

And I think I'm OK with that. I have my doggies, after all. They keep me company, and comfort me when I'm down. They don't judge, and they're always happy to see me - no matter what.

In the meantime, perhaps I should just lie in wait and be ready to pounce. There must be a nice man out there somewhere who is looking for a kinda goth girl like me.

Style Notes:

Pics 1 & 2:
Outfit - Rfyre Unorthodox (Lucky Chair)
Hair - unknown - sorry
Skin - Frick - Retro Betty - Peach Betty

Pics 3-6:
Outfit - Papillon - Lacey (MM)

Too Much Death

This week was a tough week. Three of the icons of my youth passed on - Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson. It kind of stabs you in the heart. Ed made so many people smile for so many years as Johnny Carson's sidekick (and I, of course, am a big fan of sidekicks). Farrah and Michael both seemed to lead such tragic lives. I think, to me, the saddest thing about Farrah and Michael's death is that they both seemed to have such little happiness in life.

Of course I didn't know them, but one day, my dad went to a tennis tournament and sat right next to Farrah Fawcett. He somehow managed to form enough words to get her autograph, which I still have. I did meet Michael Jackson one time after a performance I did in Hollywood. He was very kind and gracious.

It would be nice if people would be less star struck, less interested in their fame, wealth, and scandal, and more interested in trying to make everyone's life better. Then, when someone who has become a part of our lives either personally or from a distance passes on, we can celebrate their life rather than mourn their death.

Style Notes:
Skin - Frick Retro Pinup: Peach Betty
Hair - unknown...whoever that is
Outfit - "coat" from Crimson Shadow lucky chair
Boots - AD Biker Boots from Animas Designs
Photo take at Little Heaven

Drama-turgy

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.”
Shakespeare, As You Like It (II, vii, 139-143)

“All the world’s indeed a stage,
And we are merely players,
Performers and portrayers.
Each another’s audience
Outside the gilded cage.”
Rush, “Limelight”

“Life’s a show,
And we all play our parts,
And when the music starts,
We open up our hearts.”
Sarah Michelle Geller, as Buffy, in “Buffy the Musical”

Why does fashion matter in Second Life? It's a virtual world, after all. It's not real. What should we care if our little avatar looks good? It's interesting that even though we can create an entirely different world in Second Life, we simply re-create and reify our own reality. We care what others think of us. We want to look good, be popular, find love, and have fun in SL just like in RL. Oh...if only....

We try to manage others' impressions of us by engaging in this virtual social performance. We go to our sky boxes or hidden bubbles and prepare backstage for this performance. We go through our inventories looking for the perfect outfit, the perfect hair, the perfect skin. All in an attempt to make others see us the way we want them to see us. Once we're ready, we make our entrance. We are the performer, and all the others that surround us are our audience, who are, in turn, managing their own performances for our benefit. We even use props - accessories, furniture, and decor. Our identity is constantly changing for the benefit of our performance.

Embarrassment results when our performance doesn't meet expectations. When we realize that something is wrong. "Oops! I forgot my underwear and I'm wearing a mini-skirt" or "Yikes! Where's my hair?"

(Really, I did that on purpose! I would never be seen in Zindra without my hair!) See! Impression management.

And if we're naked in public, it had better be in an appropriate place. Or, maybe just for the sake of art.

I've gotta go. It's time to strut and fret my hour upon the stage. Next blog...the significance of nothing.

Credits:
Pictures 1 & 2
Outfit: Pixeldolls - Jewel Dress in Rasberry
Skin - Lara Skin - Rachel Pale
Hair - Starmilly Voom - Hair Black
Shoes - 50 Flats - jeweled flats
Location - Fotoscope

Picture 3
Outfit - Another World - Sisters Of Mercy tank dress
Skin - Redgrave 15 Pale Skin - Vivian smoky2
Hair - Starmilly Voom - Hair Black
Tattoo - Moloko Stardust Tattoo
Location - Zindra's Kama City

Picture 4
Skin - Lara Skin - Rachel Pale
Hair - KS Creations - Annah Black
Location - Art Box (recreation of "Christine Keeler" by Lewis Morley)

Dramaturgy is a sociological theory of social interaction originally developed by Ervin Goffman in his book The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life.